iTS JULY NE23RD ;)
My feelings have taken control of me for the last time leaving my brain where its at and thinking with my heart.
For the Devils playground is the mind witch in my eyes is the brain.
BUT...
...The heart stands for Love...
...HEY!
God is Love.
So think with Love forgive with kindness and be thankful your not worse off.
Faith in Love. Fear to God.
NOW...
...only if i was living like this earlier...
...now i'm heart hurting.
Crying inside waiting for her Love...
...her strength is so amazing i love her with all my heart and soul.
Living like this is unhealthy.
My body is starving and i'm having problems getting over this hurt.
Well i did do it to myself.
This young Lady i'm n Love with is pregnant or was pregnant.
i.d.k.
I wish i did but shes not talking to me. Last time i herd she made her mind up to get an Abortion.
But...
I have faith in God and i no if she has the same faith as i do for are God Jesus Christ.
Then i no she wont get it that's not just are gift from God but its Gods child as well.
I miss this girl so much
I went and made another twitter trying to talk to her. I see she went to Washington.
Well that's good she was talking about it a lot i hope she lives well.
But i also seen on her twitter...
...That shes single but she does not feel like she is.
Well i didn't no if we were together or not.
I wanna be with her though.
My Love for her is strong because i have a strong woman behind that Love.
I talked to God the other day.
I said...
...Jesus Christ my God show me the way in your name i live in flesh for give me for my wrongful ways Lord all i need is you help me find that strength to over come and shine like your son father God in your name i pray this prayer with all my faith and fear to you Lord God you are my LOVE you are my everything take me in today show me new things let my mind open up father forgive me of all my wrongs in your name all things are truth you are a fare judge judge me Lord in your name Jesus Christ Kings of Kings Amen
I felt so good to say the lest.
I'm blessed in many ways...
...more ways then one.
I walk a lot and when i walk i walk talking to God...
...call it walking with God.
I like walking with God.
So yea.
when i'm on these walks with God i feel him griping me in his arms.
(Spiritually)
The feeling is so overwhelming i start crying. Its crazy, amazing, and weird.
I'm trying to be around more Godly people.
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another...
...That's my favorite verse in the Bible.
It means a lot to me sense its the only verse that i remember.
L.O.L.
iT iS JULY 25TH
I talked to her for the first time in i believe a week today.
She is going to get the abortion.
I prayed to God she wouldn't but if its not mint to be its not mint to be.
I questioned God today...
...I prayed to him i said...
...Father God if your real show me in 2 ways 1 give me her hand in marriage and 2 let this baby be born Amen...
...I.d.k if i was right or wrong but i no God understands my pain i'm going through after all her died on the cross getting beaten.
I'm happy that her and i are talking. But sad because i don't think she will ever wanna be with me and i wanna be with her. I guess her friend is wrong and i was right.
See her friend said that she was weak for me. I said to her no shes not shes strong and she repeated shes weak like 3 or 4 times i believe. {WHAT A FRIEND RIGHT? ANYWAYS} See her friend shes so stuck where shes at i look at her and feel so bad. So much foolishness in her its sad.
Iv grown a lot in the past 7 months no time for back tracking.
(RANDOM POST AUG 19th 2011 before my trip to L.A for the first time}
Its sad when you can look at someone with kids and tell by the way they talk to them they were better off getting an abortion.
The real sad part is i should of bin another abortion and that makes me dislike life even more. Where do i belong?
My heart isn't wanted by anyone but God and his people.
Half the time i don't think even his people love me.
Is this the Devil or is this just me. I no my thoughts are f**ked up and maybe i'm just thinking wrong.
God forgive me if i'm out of pocket. I just feel so much hurt from this one person it makes me feel like dying. Sooner then later. Every time she talks to me its like a gun to my head and every time she gets a reaction out of me. God help me control myself so that i can shut my mouth when needed to. I no shes my mom but i don't feel like she is.
The only parent i feel like is mine is you Father God.
I was telling my mom about this run in with this lady of God i had downtown and she just cut me off and said well she should of prayed your ass all the way to South Sac....I then flipped cuz she thought i was calling for a ride.
But....
Really i was so happy that i wanted to tell someone and i picked her s.m.h i shouldn't of. Shes a disbeliever anyways.
I finally asked my mom the other day if she believed and i got the answer.
I now wish i didn't.
But....
Everyone will fall and no the truth. Ether in this life or in the passing to the new life in Heaven or in Hell. I just pray that she changes her ways before she dies the clock is ticking away and we will all go through this passing i cant wait though i excepted Jesus as my God and i feel like we have a pretty good relationship thank you God for this new life on earth through me let your glory shine. well anyways in just a few hours im going to So-Cali for the first time L.A to see my uncle from Australia for the first time. ;)
Anyways im done for now ill add on to this every few days or so OH BTW FOLLOW ME if your not already THANKS...
